The Love Game Part 1

Still today I wonder what would have happened if I would’ve told him how I felt sooner and before it happened. Yes, I am referring to the last thing you want to happen to the one you love. I regret it every day, but I think about the pain it could’ve have caused me if I told him I loved him. The pain I have to go through now is probably just as bad. The counselor talked me through it all my parents didn’t know I loved him. All they knew was that he was a kid in my class. I know I should have told him but I was scared, scared that he wouldn’t say he loved me back, but I guess it’s better to say what you need to than to regret not saying enough.

The day after the funeral I decided to go to school. I kept getting these looks from people that I didn’t even know. I kept thinking that I had said something to these people that upset them. That’s when I remembered that they were the ones that knew that I loved him. They day of the accident kept playing over and over again in my head until it broke me. I was torn because of what I was I didn’t do.


The next day we had this new kid in school. His name was Broatty. He was really cute; he had straight blond hair that flowed in the wind. He was nice too. He asked to sit with me at lunch of course I was not being myself and didn’t say anything. I was surprised at what was happening. Nobody had talked to me until right now. After relaxing we started talking; we had a lot in common, like the fact that we both lost the love of our lives. Even thought I lost somebody too I didn’t tell him. His girlfriends name was Gabby. When he talked about her his face lit up, and he started to cry quietly almost too where I didn’t know it.

I gave him my number after lunch and told him I knew how he felt. I also told him to call if he needed anything.

That night he called crying.

For the next week we sat together at lunch and in the classes that we had together. We had become close friends that told each other everything. After about a month of this I realized I was falling in love with him. Finally he asked me out. He said it was a friend to friend evening but I wanted it to be a date. I was finally falling in love for the second time but I didn’t want to let him in. I didn’t want to feel alone again. I was afraid to let him in because what if I let him in then he left or decided he didn’t love me anymore. I would feel alone in this big world for the second time if he left.



TO BE CONTINUDED